Feelings and thoughts
From a young age, I found solace in displaying affection and kindness towards animals, likely stemming from an unloving mother and the resulting anxious-avoidant attachment style. Dogs, in particular, became steadfast companions, alleviating feelings of anxiety and abandonment.
Navigating conflicts was a challenge, and my inclination towards people-pleasing emerged as a coping mechanism to avoid the repercussions of childhood traumas. Despite growing up in an environment where survival was a constant battle, I developed heightened awareness of my surroundings and emotions.
Empathy for others deepened as I recognized and understood the struggles they faced, leading me to embark on a journey to support individuals with unhappy or traumatic childhoods through psychotherapy and counseling.
A pivotal moment at 35 occurred when I discovered Astrology, offering profound insights into the human psyche and life's philosophy. This newfound understanding prompted a professional pursuit in Astrology, as it revealed the intricacies of past traumas and the defensive mechanisms ingrained in individuals, often without them uttering a word.
What changed?
Learning to listen, communicate authentically, and embrace one's true self has been a transformative journey. Despite the exhilaration sought through adrenaline activities, the inherent risks were denied by others due to concerns for safety and well-being.
Obtaining a motorcycle license at 35 and engaging in high-speed racing brought thrills, even amidst a crash resulting in broken bones yet the mature response from my partner, expressing concern, care, and setting reasonable boundaries, highlighted the importance of understanding each other's needs and fostering responsibility in agreements while she took care of me both physically and mentally.
Challenging traditional mindsets, I also pursued body art against parental objections, emphasising the needs for personal expression and growth. Respecting one another has proven instrumental in minimising conflicts, fostering trust, love, and long-term respect.
This growth extends beyond personal relationships, enabling effective communication with others devoid of judgment and defensive behaviours.
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Why relationship and marriage coaching?
I hold a strong belief that a relationship or marriage acts as a foundation for two individuals to complement each other's weaknesses with their strengths. However, achieving this harmony is no easy feat; it demands unwavering commitment and diligent effort. Throughout my life, I've observed numerous instances, particularly within families, where individuals either lack the courage to exit detrimental relationships or the knowledge to enhance them. This decline significantly impacts personal welfare and the surrounding environment. Sadly, this reality extended to my parents' 40-year marriage.
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Growing up was far from easy for me, as it entailed navigating through numerous traumatic experiences that fostered defensive and self-protective instincts and behaviors, often characterized by selfishness. Recognising similar patterns in my own marriage, I made the difficult decision to end it.
Fortunately, this choice has had a positive impact on my children. They now experience much greater happiness and have developed confidence and independence. This transformation is largely attributed to having something positive to anticipate and understanding the true meaning of a loving home environment.
They are now able to witness firsthand what a healthy relationship looks like and learn invaluable lessons about what it means to be part of a joyous union between two individuals.
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Letting go of attachments can prove advantageous for both parties in a strained marriage. Personally, I had to end my own marriage to pursue what I felt was essential for my identity. Consequently, I found a new partner who appreciates me for who I am, rather than trying to shape me into someone else.
I offer my support to couples who want to work on their marriage in ways through spiritual support and self awareness working towards a happy and fulfilling marriage.
Likewise in unworkable marriages, I am your guide to close one chapter and begin a new one where they can each pursue meaningful and fulfilling lives individually.
