The incidents that happened during childhood shaped me. By the age of 4, I could recall incidents of myself being anxious and fearful of abandonment and the most prominent incident was my trip to Disney on Ice where all other friends and children were enjoying the play while I was frantically looking to go home fearing they would leave me.
Not that I am a bad kid but who has not grown through the rebellious age? I was constantly thrown out of home right up till 35. I was anxious at the slightest unforeseen future. I was constantly depressed suicidal. Attempted once in a fit of paranoia as I could recall due to barrage of scolding after losing my wallet and mobile to theft. I felt useless for not even be capable of looking after my personal belongings. Life was meaningless.
Why should I live? Why am I alive? It was a constant question within myself and my parents had no clue or perhaps, cant be bothered?
I took it to myself to find meaning in life and life's wonderful journey began by the age of 32.
I was a boy that immersed myself in online gaming. A good solid 20 years I regret or maybe not. Education? I tried quitting school but I started learning and exploring various studies as much as I could after 30.
It is never too late. We all start somewhere.
Through self awareness and self discovery, I decided to start learning.
It all began from seeing Bazi / Fengshui masters. Interests in the wonders of metaphysics lead me on a journey to start learning Numerology. I discovered Astrology a few years later as I progressed onto my spiritual journey to understand life's mystery.
Noticing behaviour / psychological patterns, I discovered the reasons why I was behaving in a certain irresponsible manner. Self protecting mechanisms to stay alive. Humans we are or all living things fight for their right to survive. Astrology was able to tell me that and what are the goodness of these behavioural patterns that causes problems?
Interestingly, there is always 2 sides to a coin. I have learned to embody my flaw that I am not perfect but consistently work on myself towards growth and these psychological problems that kept me stuck showed new ways to be used positively.
I work them on my kids, myself and the clients I work with.
Working with gentle tenderness and care for everyone.
I fight for what life offers best.
I am Dave the gentle fighter.